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Friday, June 22, 2012

Flashback Friday....My Daddy

     Welcome to all of the Matter of Choice readers. I hope this has been a good Friday for all of you. Thank you for stopping by and reading my Flashback Friday and by the way this is my first one. I will go ahead and forewarn you that this might be a tad long as my situation with my dad is not the common relationship........

     My first memory of my daddy (and at that time, I referred to him as Jesse and not dad or daddy for even father) was at the age of 17. The first picture I had ever seen of my dad was during this time and the only way that I knew who he was was because his name was written on the back of the picture. I did know his name was Jesse.....
I was around 4 years old in this picture
     I was cleaning and found a picture and that was the beginning of my very first flashback of my dad. I started on a search for him and found him pretty easily since he worked at a local body shop at the time. He was eager enough to meet me but boy was I that hard headed kid that knew everything and wasn't very easy to get along with.   
     The first thing I remember him saying was that I had all my hair cut off. (He preferred women to have long hair.) I let him know right quick that he had never been there to fix my hair and unless he was going to start to not complain about the length of my hair. Then he proceeded to tell me how my grandparents were the cause of the divorce and so forth and I was not about to have any of it. I had done ok without  him until this point and I was beginning to see I would be fine without him from now on.      
     I was working at the local Burger King at the time and oh my gracious! He brought the whole entire Tidwell family into the restaurant. I had no idea who all these people were and gee I was embarrassed and mad and shocked and a million other feelings. Along with him was his wife, their 3 children and his mother and daddy and I can't remember who else but there was a whole bunch of them. 
     He presented me with a gift.  I opened it to find a diamond cluster ring and I remember my first thought being, "How in the world am I going to hide this from my mother?". You see, I had snuck behind my mother's back to find my dad in the first place so there was no way that I could take this gift home and explain all I had done to her. So I asked the boy I was dating at the time to keep it for me. Years later that turned out to be a big mistake too.
     I did go to their house and took a girlfriend with me because I didn't want to go along and to this day neither of us have forgotten that. I knew that I had 2 half brothers and a half sister but the only one I really remembered was the half sister because she was about 6 years old at the time and it was like looking into a mirror of my past when I saw her. At that point, as much as I didn't want to admit it, I knew it was true. I looked like my dad. I never wanted to be anything like him at all back then.
My daddy Thanksgiving Day 2011
     Now, I am going to fast forward 24 years with no contact whatsoever in those 24 years. The year is 2011 and I am 41 years old. A little wiser and a little more forgiving, sorta. Turns out I am friends with that sister on Facebook and had no idea she was my sister. She invited me to the brother's house in South Alabama and I agreed to go but to not meet anyone. We arrived on Sunday around 3 a.m. and got a hotel room and at check out time, I took her and her kids to their house and I left quickly. I didn't got back until she text me to let me know she  was ready for me to pick her up.  This worked ok for that Sunday but not Sunday night. The brother, the youngest, came out to me in my van and started a conversation. Next thing I know, I am re-meeting my dad on Monday June 13, 2011 and, yes, it was extremely awkward but that is my most recent flashback of my daddy and now I am a daddy's girl and we talk every single day, mostly by text since he has a hard time hearing on the phone. I never thought I would be a daddy's girl or much less even want him in my life, but God knew what He was doing by keeping us apart. He knew when the perfect time would be and boy what a relationship that has flourished. So this was only my second Father's Day to get to celebrate with my dad. 2011 was still awkward as we had only met a week prior but this year was much better and I will be thankful for each year, month, week, and day that I have him in my life.



  1. This is a very nice post. It is thoughtful and humbling. you are very lucky to still have in your life and you should appreciate the time you still have with him. God really did have a plan.
    I followed you from the monday Hop and hope you can follow back.

    1. Thank you! I find it a very huge blessing to finally have my dad in my life. I have followed you as well.

  2. Hey sweetie, I gave you the blog award, come and get your award.